1. Make Time For Them
I believe Spending quality time with your children is the highest precedence. The children require time with their parents to learn and grow. When parents show interest in their children's lives, it is the most comprehensive tool of support. Communicate with your kids, play with them, your job is to encourage them to make the best decisions in life. This all starts with time. Sometimes it won't be convenient you will have to make sacrifices. Would it be considered a sacrifice when it should be something you would look forward to doing? You really need your children to bond with you as much as possible. This would develop a habit of when they get older and how they treat their kids.
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2. Be Their First Line Of Defense
A parent's main objective is to make sure their children are protected. Not just from the threats of outside but the ones that take place at home. In the event of an emergency, what should they do, or who should they contact? I recommend training drills. Work on their self-esteem this is where most people lose confidence and just settle. Instruct them on how to defend themselves. Some people might be against violence, but what would you want to happen if your child is being attacked or kidnapped. They should be shown how to cook, starting with which foods are most beneficial for the body. They need to be explained how to clean their bodies the proper way. Food and cleaning are the first two lines of defense for health. Make sure you demonstrate to them how to communicate and interact with others. This is very important for making friends and finding employment. Teach them how to learn and adapt to many situations. Urge them to learn two or more languages. This would only increase their chances of success. They should know what the world is like before you allowed them to go out there by themselves. If you shelter them too much they won't be ready and the world will hurt them over and over again. Yes, this does mean all these things should be started before pre-K.
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3. Put Your Differences Aside And Focus On The Children
Today's family unit is different from let's, say 30 years ago. It's common now and days for single parents or ones that separated. That is still an ok way to raise a child. The dilemma becomes when both parents can't seem to agree, on which is the best way to raise them. Most of the time it, either dealing with money or education. The pair or, more if we include the extended family becomes bitter, petty, and spiteful. This feud usually affects children. The crossfire lands right on the kids. They are forced to choose a side or pick who they want to live with. The parents can't put their differentiation to the side long enough to co-parent. The children never get a chance to see what a wholesome family unit looks like. The children are young in age but it is the parents that need to grow up.
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4. Get Involved With Their Dreams And Hobbies
I want to say all parents love their offspring. How many can say they love who they are? If your child wants to dance sing or become a beekeeper, please support them. Just because you played basketball and it didn't work for you, don't tell your child not to love it. Most parents shut down their kid's ability and passion if they are not into it themselves. When you were young yourself you heard from your parents that's a waste of time or that won't make any money. The child gets older, and sees a famous person on tv doing exactly what they used to love, and it hurts. They have animosity towards their parents for not supporting them. Plus they grow up feeling empty like they missed out on something in their lives. This will open up all types of problems from drinking to drugs and sometimes even jail.
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5. Tell Them How You Feel
Reinforcement is king for raising your children. No one can read your mind, so it has to be said. If you are proud of them, tell'em. Make sure you show them how much you love them. Most people brag to others about how special their children are but never tell it to the kids. Social media have all these families looking so close and perfect. Then you meet them in person, and it is the most dysfunctional family you ever met. There is a saying called. Do It For The Gram. What about do it for real life? As a grown-up, it is considered games if someone doesn't tell you how they feel. For children it a bit different. If you don't tell a child, they feel as if you don't care. Let's think about this; how long does it take to express your feelings. Minimum a few seconds maximum may be a full 60 seconds. This also builds up self-esteem just like we said earlier in this blog how important that is to the growth of your child. Always remember building something up takes more time than tearing something down. So the next time you speak with your children, repeat after me. YOU ARE AMAZING AND SPECIAL, YOU CAN BE ANYTHING YOU WANT TO BE, I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU NO MATTER WHAT. NOW HAVE A GOOD DAY AND SHOW THE WORLD WHY YOU ARE HERE. Or you can just say I'm very proud of you. Whichever you pick, make sure you say this every day no days off.
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6. Never Stop Teaching Them
Learning is a life long process; you should never stop even after you graduate. So this means as parents, you should never stop being a teacher. Sending your youngsters to school is not the same as teaching them. When children get used to learning from school, they tend to stop learning after they graduate. The most successful people in the world today continue to learn every day. Technology changes every single day. If this happens every day and you don't keep up each day you, will fall behind. Every parent should want their children to be the best versions of themselves. With each fail attempt or mistake that happens, it becomes a learning lesson. Every experience helps your kids to form the person they will grow to be. You all heard the saying you can't teach an old dog new tricks. This might be true, but a dog can choose to learn new things on their own. Learning is a habit that can be developed. So if you insert this quality in your children, they will continue to follow on their own. So to sum things up, Learning is good for growing, growing is great for success. YOU DO WANT YOUR CHILDREN TO BE SUCCESSFUL RIGHT?
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7. Become The Best Role Model
Your children's first role models in life are their parents. If you want them to grow into these smart, intelligent, motivated, positive people in life, you have to show them what it looks like. Set the tone, for how you want them to live, by living that way yourself. You want them to be respectful, show them how you respect others. You want them to read often; you need to pick up books and read as well. If you telling them to follow their dreams, are you following yours? Today's kids' role models are on t.v. This is not always positive. Some T.V. star's personality is the exact opposite of the lifestyle you want for a child. The reason this happens is children admire and idolizes the people they want to be. So how can you tell your children you want them better than you, and you didn't set the bar too high.
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8. Never Place Your Limitations On Them
This one is clear cut. If you feel you can't accomplish something in life please, don't tell your family not to try. If you were good at math that does not mean your child won't be great in science. I heard a few stories where the fathers who didn't make the pros. Told their children who have a passion for the same sport not to try. That is when they explained to their children that sport is a waste of time. If they got fired from a job for asking for a raise, they will warn their children never to ask for one. If they were afraid of public speaking, they will tell their children its ok to not speak in public at it. If parents have a fear of flying they won't encourage the children to fly. Some people never traveled outside their home city. These people try to keep their children from leaving home. That means they don't even want them to go away to college. It was said you miss 100% of the shots you don't take. Do you know how much your children will miss out if you do this to them? Let's say one day you get robbed in Brooklyn. Every time your child asks can they go hang in BK you will always say no. The isolated incidents you had in your life is no way to stop your children from living theirs.
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9. Encourage Mistakes
Mistakes are not all bad. They are the reason we learn. Think about it this way; all the times you fell when you learned how to walk. What about how crazy you sounded when you learn to speak. When you had to read out loud for the first time was very embarrassing. Now imagine riding a bike, cooking, starting a new job. These things you had to make plenty of mistakes, but look at you now. Riding a bike to work cooking every night, getting promoted because of a job well done. These are all from making mistakes and getting better. So when you tell your children don't make mistakes, you are saying to them don't learn anything new. The only way to achieve greatness is on a bumpy road. The road less traveled is the road with the most rewards. Yes, make all the mistakes keep trying until you get it right. The more mistakes they make with your support, the easier it will be for them to become perfect at living.
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10. Teach Them About Finances Early
The most epic fail for us as parents is not educating them about finances. We want them to learn so much. Math, Science, Reading even Social Studies. Why 98% of us forget to include Investments? If are we spending money on our children, why not teach them the significance of it. Honestly, as soon as they can count, you should educate them about money. The reason why people think wealthy kids get a head start in life is that they have money. Most flourishing families instruct their children to respect money at an early age. While the average child gets his or her allowance they spend it. Then there are the few that save and invest their money. We play fun games while they play money games. For the record, Hasbro monopoly is a magnificent game for learning about real estate. Possessing money doesn't make you wealthy. Knowing how to allocate the money does. Instead of showing them the lastest fashions we should be teaching them about buying the latest stocks. Everything is a habit the earlier you commence the quicker they will get it started.
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