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  • Writer's picturePutt Toxey

6 Things That Could Ruin A Relationship

Updated: Nov 26, 2019

Let's start with this quick video checklist

Now Let's Get Into It


1. Time

Time we all know is the only thing you can't get back. So much time is either invested or wasted at the beginning of most relationships. are built with time. Most of the time is with phone calls, then plenty of courting maybe even cute text messages or videos. Somewhere down the line, it all stops. Your relationship is similar to your own business. When you get the business up and running you still need to put the time in it. Most people feel when they get the girl or guy, the hard work is over. No, you still have to water the plants every few days so to speak. Spending time means just that, when you are with them give them all your attention. Being in the same room or living in the same house does not count as spending time. Please put your phones away there is nothing worse than you spending time with someone and their face is buried in the phone. Then there is a flip side too much time could be just as damaging. Smothering each other is not healthy. Too much of anything can be a bad thing.

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2. Money

Whether a couple is dating or they married. Money plays a big part in the survival of the relationship. Especially if one is a saver and the other is a spender. The strain that comes with bills and vacations is damaging. You ever heard the term champagne taste with a beer budget. When two people get together, they go out of the way to impress each other. Sometimes spending outside their means, or missing days at work causing loss wages. One day reality hits them now the money issues begin. Bills pile up now you can't go out, to eat on dates anymore. Before you would come around with gifts, now becomes empty promises. When you could no longer do the little things that you did for yourself when you were single, you began to blame your partner. Another situation is when two people have different incomes or habits. When one of the two is carrying the financial burden of both a problem usually starts to manifest. In time comes the lying, hiding, and cheating.

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3. Friends

Let's keep this one simple your friends shouldn't butt into your relationship. If you and the person you are with are going through something, keep it between you guys without telling your business. Friends only react to the information you give them. They will never accept your partner again after you forgave them for something in the past. When your friends are not happy with their relationship, they will try to protect you from yours. Some of your friends become private eyes when it comes to your new relationship. Family is even worse. That includes parents, siblings, and children. If you are happy with the person you are with don't take unsolicited advice from outsiders

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4. Changing Who You Are

In many new relationships, people feel the need to change. They become the best version of themselves, I know it sounds great. They pour everything into making the other person happy. The problem now this new person is usually a short term thing. They stop hanging with their friends and sometimes family. They never have time to talk on the phone with anyone other than the new person. Getting them to come over for holidays is a thing of the pass. Some even go as far as to neglect their children. You have stories of people changing their religion, diet even their career path. One day the relationship is not so new anymore. The person goes back in their old way and habits of doing things. This would have never happened if they would have just stayed the person they originally were. If the person doesn't like you for who you are, then maybe that is not the person for you!

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5. Intimacy

First off, Intimacy, to me, is a very significant part of a relationship. Good sex will make them come back great sex will make them stay. There are numerous essential parts of intimacy than just sex. Sign of affection, touching, kissing, hugging is a few things that come to mind. You can have intimate talks or stares with each other. One thing I have learned a few years back was about the five love languages. This would have come in handy for my relationship about 20 years ago. I knew what made me happy so when I did gestures for my mate I assumed it was what made her happy as well. This goes back to my point about being intimate learning the person you are with. My best advice is communication ask questions, look at people's reactions to certain circumstances when you perform them. Also, tell them how you feel and what your likes and dislikes are. You would be surprised at how tiny information not regarded becomes the reason you guys split.

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6. Low Self-esteem

Oh my gosh, I don't know why I didn't put this one first? Low self-esteem destroys more relationships than any other reason. Why people are insecure their mind is always thinking negative. One, they feel they are not good enough for the person that is with them. They always feel like the person is doing something behind their back. They are not happy with the job, house, family and they feel that they can't do any better. With all of these letdowns in life, the outlet is always taken out on the closet person to them. If they ring the significant other's phone and they don't pick up, they feel they are avoiding them. They are never comfortable with being around the spouse's friends and family. If they laugh at other people's jokes they take that for they are attracted to that person. If they mention anyone for the job (opposite sex) they imagine them having an affair. Even if the person you are dating tries to connect with you and tell you where you need improvement, they feel you want to leave them. I hate to say this but sometimes it's just better to leave the person with low self-esteem than to stay and try to fix them.

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We would like to hear if you are in a relationship and dealing with one of these issues. Or if you feel I left something out let me know. What you feel can ruin a relationship

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