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  • Writer's picturePutt Toxey

Why Do We Tell Ourselves Some Lies Are Okay?

Is Lies A Necessary Part Of Human Nature

I guess this is a matter of opinion. Some people feel lying is needed others, feel it is disrespectful. Most people judge the level of the lie. Then there are lies that people hold on for years. The question now becomes should you reveal the truth? Would the truth hurt or help the situation? Some parents feel that they are protecting children from the truth when they are not old enough. Yes, at times it eases the tension but what happens when the truth comes out later?

What Is Considered An Acceptable Lie?

What about when you are telling your children Santa is coming so you better be good? How about telling your child to put your tooth under the pillow so the tooth fairy will come to bring you money. Then there is every fairy tale story we tell the children to make them behave, eat their vegetables, help them get over their fears even to keep them out of trouble. Is this good for the imagination how far should we go and does that make it ok? How about the parents that hide the truth? Telling your children someone is away at work when they go to prison or their pet ran away when they really died. There are so many grey areas when it comes to not telling the truth.

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So When Does It Become A Contradiction?

If we begin teaching our children these little white lies; how in the world do we expect them to tell the truth to us? I think at first it's measured as this lie won't hurt anyone. Or you can say I'm only telling this person a lie to protect them and not to hurt their feelings. Are you ok with them telling you similar lies? If you said it is not ok then why are you able to give that line of bull to others. The book "The Compound Effect" teaches us that if you start something so small, it could still affect your life drastically in the next 20 years or so. That goes for telling little lies to others or yourself. Here is a couple you might use often. I'm on my way I will be there in five minutes. When you know good and well, you didn't even leave your house yet. I am going to quit smoking these cigarettes after I finish this last pack. One of my favorites I tell myself, I will wait until the last minute I work better under pressure. All these examples are still considered lying. Which is also built up over years of seeing how much you can get away with before it crosses the line.

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What About The Big Lies?

What about the husband that cheats on his wife? How about a woman that has a child and led the wrong man to believe he fathered the child? What about the employee that steals from a job and blames someone else and they lose their job. Let's be clear a lie, no matter how big or small it will still affect your life. We all heard the saying come clean you will feel better. The saying is not it will make things better only you will feel better. Just think about this if you are about to do anything and you feel you will need to lie about it later just don't do it.

There are times you might feel a need to lie or feel pressured into lying. Again this depends on your character if you feel the need to submit into these traps. Something like, "Look at my baby; do you think she is pretty?" How about when you are married to a woman who had 3 of your children and gains 30 pounds and asks you "I look just as I did when we got married, right"?

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I Want To Share Two Stories That Change Many Lives By Lying.

In the news a couple of years back year, a young lady made a sex tape. On the tape, it was with her boyfriend someone leaks the tape and her family saw her on it. When they confronted her she lied. She said it was another young man a good friend of her innocent hard-working good kid named Junior. When a few members of her family found the boy they tortured, killed him. So many families and lives were ruined because of this huge lie. Her family was out for blood and not one time did she decide to tell the truth before they killed him.

Another example of one lie affecting a group of people. The story of "The Central Park 5". Years ago a group of black teenagers was charged with the raping of a white woman in Central Park a famous park in N.Y.C. What made this story even worst is the cops prosecutors and media convicted these kids without having enough evidence. The city's officials wanted to make an example out of these innocent young men. Even the way they covered up their mistakes not to look bad for the public and their jobs. These now men lost their childhood, most have been traumatized abused for years. Even when the true criminal confess. The system did not believe the 5 black men. Now years later the truth is out only because one brave director made it her mission to tell their story. Check out the Netflix special "When They See Us". (click on links below)

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Today's call of action we want to hear your views on is lying good or bad or why is it needed.

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