• Putt Toxey

Who Wanted To Have The Child? Why?

Updated: Jun 4, 2019


When it comes to having a baby what are the expecting parents to be thought process? what kind of plans do they have in raising the children? Do you think they thought about all the pro's and con's in starting a family are they ready to commit to each other for at least the next 18 years? What sacrifice are both parent ready to make in order to provide the best environment for the blessing that children would bring to both families?


Women are you sure this is the right man to have children with?



A lot of time women meet a guy and he turns out to be Mr. Right yes he is, however most of the time he turns out to be Mr. Right now. In the beginning, he sweeps you off your feet tells you everything you want to hear and promises you the life that you always wanted. The question becomes how much do you really know about him besides what he tells you? Did you talk with his friends, family, co-workers people that spent time with this new found love of yours? It was said you can tell a lot about a person by the company he keeps. Are there any signals that are flashing that you could be overlooking? Like how is his relationship with his parents? Did he have any children already and if so is him and his child mother on good terms with each other? You know if he is fighting with her all the time paying child support and not ever seeing his children that could be you in a few years. Then you need to look at how stable is his income not if he is getting a lot of money today you need to know if his money will stay consistent for 18 more years. I think this is one of the most important ones does he really want to have children better yet does he want to want one with you? We are talking about what he say out his mouth compare what is his actions are saying? Is he the type of person that can put someone before him at all cost or does he have a lot of excuses when things are not going right in his life. There is one more sad thing I need to address before moving to the men's portion. Women having babies with a person just because they are famous or rich thinking that the baby would, in fact, inherit the wealth, fame and love of the celebrity this is not always the case. Or maybe just to try to keep a man in a relationship is the wrong reason to have a child.



Men are you sure this is the right woman to have children with?




Men always get the bad end of the stick when it comes to being a parent. For some reason the court system claim we are equal when it comes to our children but 90% percent of the men that had to go to court for their children for either custody or visitations understand it not so. Men are getting caught up with a lot of women these today just on appearance alone. Just because they are very beautiful well dressed that doesn't mean their morals and family values are all together. Some of these women are only into themselves enjoying their life they are not into nurturing a child. The vanity won't just stop because of childbirth. If you meet a nice young lady at the club partying or on a vacation with her girlfriends all having a great time none of her friends have any children do you really think she is ready to become a mother? same goes as I said for the women men if you have to beg a woman to have your child she might have one not because she wants to or ready too just to keep you happy. this won't make her turn into a mother overnight she will regret you and sometimes the decision to have the child. Then will come the part where some women use the child as a tool to make the guy mad if she doesn't get her way or if the relationship doesn't work out. Now you are blaming the woman for something you jumped into without thinking about. Let's look at something else if the woman already has a few children with different fathers and none of the men are is the children lives that is a red flag. Why would you have a child with someone like this yes she could make a few bad decisions are you willing to take the chance that it was her messing up the family and not the guys before you?



Here is somethings I feel both parents need to think about!!




When you feel you are ready to bring a child into this world you should ask yourself at least 5 questions.


1. Will I be mentally and financially stable?

To raise a child is a 24 hrs a day seven days a week job for the rest of your life or at least for the first 17 years depending on the parent, most people when they think about being financially secure they normally are guessing how much it would cost plus they judge by how their life is right now and not factor in the child's unforeseen expenses. Loss of employment moving to a more spacious home, schools, medical, braces, insurance, karate lessons, ballet lessons, basketball practice among many other hidden things.

2. Will you have the time to raise the child?

This is another factor you should check on before having a child with someone will you be able to make the time to spend with the child? Working extra hours to cover new bills that may arise. Taking off days for your child's graduations, practice, school plays, parent-teacher day at school, emergency hospital visits, family vacations and most importantly just time spent between you guys each day (even if its an hour a day)

3. Can you see yourself spending at least the next 18 years with the person you are planning on having the child with?

Most couples have their children in the lust stage of their relationship in a hasty passionate not well planned out moment. At the time it feels as this is the person they will spend the rest of their lives with most couples break-up before the child's second birthday.

4. Are the two of you having the child both really ready to become parents?

Are you both independent enough to take care of yourself without the help of anyone else. If not how the person that helps you (Mainly your parents) will feel about having to help you with a child they didn't agree upon having?

5. What are your reasons for having a child?

If the reasons are anything other than I want to nurture, protect, love, teach, spend time with my child and family then you might not be ready.



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